from Theology of Play: Learning to Enjoy Life as God Intended
by Kevin M. Gushiken
Before treatment, it is always wise to undergo diagnosis. Otherwise, we will inevitably try out different remedies in the hopes one might work, but with limited success. It is much wiser to truly understand the problem before employing a solution. Playing in the moment should be heart-driven, not another activity prompted by a busy life.
Why is it that we find it difficult to be? Before we look at the underlying condition, I would like to articulate the symptoms, particularly for those living in the Western world. The problem is we are fixated on either the past or the future. They consume our mind, preventing us from living in the moment.
We Are Obsessed with the Future
Life can be very intense. It involves numerous demands and responsibilities. For most of one’s life, it consists of preparing for the future. As soon as you enter high school, you need to be thinking about college. Once you enter college, you need to position yourself for a career. After you get married, you begin to think about a family. Once your children leave the home, you prepare for your retirement. It seems that the only time a person is not thinking about the future is when they are a child. It is no wonder then that children have an easier time playing. They understand that they are a child with limited responsibilities; therefore, it is OK to play. Some children experience broken homes, or worse yet, do not even have homes, and thus face daily concerns and worries. However, for those raised in stable homes, children can be in the moment without immediate concerns for finances, protection, or stability.
Thinking about the future is not a bad thing. Jesus stated, “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14:28). Planning is not wrong; the problem lies in obsessing about the future. It is not uncommon for people to always be thinking about tomorrow. We plan for the weekend. We plan to get into college. We plan for the next day’s work tasks. We plan for retirement. Even though we are physically present in the moment today, we might as well be living in the future, as our minds are fixated on tomorrow. We are obsessed with the future.
It is noteworthy that most references to planning in the Bible are embedded in the reality that God is sovereign over the future. Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (emphasis added). Proverbs 16:9 affirms, “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps” (emphasis added). Planning is good within the embrace of God’s knowledge and authority over the future. When we plan within this mindset, it is good because we are affirming God’s direction and purposes. Yet it is more likely that our obsession with the future involves our desire to manage tomorrow rather than trust God for it.
This obsession typically results in worrying about the future. We are anxious about health concerns. We are nervous about job security and financial stability. We are worried about our relationships, or whether we will find a relationship. The worry is a response to the unknown. Uncertainty about the future makes us nervous at best and paralyzed at worst.
Jesus exhorted us to trust God for the future:
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what
you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what
you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more
than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow
nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father
feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which
of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of
life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the
lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet
I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like
one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which
today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he
not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do
not be anxious, saying, “What shall we eat?” or “What shall
we drink?” or “What shall we wear?” For the Gentiles seek
after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that
you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his
righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow
will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matt. 6:25–34)
We should trust God for the future—for his provision and his care. Someone encouraged me early on in life that “it is wise not to borrow trouble from tomorrow.” In essence, this person was challenging me to not fret over things that I could not control—tomorrow’s worries. Rather, embrace today and trust God for tomorrow.
Playing involves being present in the moment. It is not possible to truly play if we are thinking about tomorrow. Imagine a person playing a game of volleyball with some friends. If the person was slightly crouched, with hands prepped to set the ball, but thinking about tomorrow’s business meeting, it would be impossible for them to play. In fact, they might be so distracted that they get hit with the ball. To effectively play—just from a physical standpoint, let alone emotionally—involves being present in the moment.
Is it possible to avoid planning for tomorrow? No. In fact, those who live entirely in the moment are likely irresponsible in many aspects of life. Thus, it is necessary to plan. We must think about our family’s future needs. Chores and responsibilities require our attention. Vacations don’t simply happen. As much as we might want to be laissez-faire and spontaneous, it is neither possible nor appropriate. Neither is it possible to never be anxious about tomorrow. It is a human response. Jesus’s words prompt us to remember God’s sovereignty and to trust in him, rather than feeling guilty from anxiety. It is human to worry about a health concern. It is appropriate to be concerned about the financial markets. It is loving to worry about our children’s social acceptance and emotional health. The challenge is to bring these moments to God when they occur rather than trusting in our own human strength. If we can do so, we provide space in our lives for play.
We Are Reliving the Past
I compartmentalize life. At the end of a workday, I strive to close the necessary boxes so that I can be fully present at home. At times, I am successful. Other times, it is impossible. If I experience an incredibly frustrating day, the boxes spill over into my homelife. Other times, I am thinking about regrets from the previous day, wishing I had stated something differently or reacted in a more positive manner. You might have these moments as well, where you wish you could redo a previous day in the hopes of achieving a different outcome.
These are natural tendencies. Life is never perfect; therefore, we have regular regrets about life. Or we have too much work to contain it into a single day. As a result, we find it difficult to box tasks in. In some seasons of life or work, it can be quite frustrating because you feel like you are playing Whac-A-Mole simply to stay afloat. This inability to set aside yesterday’s concerns prevents us from playing in the present.
There have been numerous occasions when I was listening to my wife’s day, only to be mentally closing filing drawers in my head. Worse yet, there have been times when my family began vacation, only for me to still be mentally working. We were seeing beautiful sights; however, I was not enjoying them, since I was still processing work tasks. When my wife and I were serving as pastor and wife, it was not uncommon for us to process ministry on the first day of vacation. We would be traveling to our destination and unpacking congregational concerns or decisions. The vacation had physically begun, but mentally we were still working. Rather than stepping into moments of play, our preoccupation with the past held us captive.
God stated in Isaiah, “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?” (43:18–19). In order to see what God is doing in the present, it is essential to stop dwelling on the past. Living in the past prevents us from enjoying God’s “new things” today.
You might be thinking that I have minimized deep pain in a person’s life. For the purposes of this chapter, I am thinking of everyday busyness—relationally or vocationally. In chapter 7, I will address more fully how to handle the wounds we have experienced in life.
The Real Problem: Control
Reliving the past and obsessing over the future are symptoms of a deeper problem—our desire for control. At the heart of our fixation over past regrets and the unknown future is a hope that somehow we can control life events. This is birthed in a humanistic mindset focused on self that erroneously inflates our importance and illusion of control. When cultivated, we begin to assume we have the ability to manipulate life’s outcomes. Further, this mindset erodes a God-centered worldview—one that affirms God’s transcendence over time—past, present, and future. Isaiah 46 states,
Remember this and stand firm, recall it to mind, you transgressors, remember the former things of old; for I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me, declaring the end from the beginning and from ancient times things not yet done, saying, “My counsel shall stand,
and I will accomplish all my purpose,” calling a bird of prey from the east, the man of my counsel from a far country. I have spoken, and I will bring it to pass; I have purposed, and I will do it. (vv. 8–11)
A biblical theology declares God’s authority over past and future. Naturally, our sin nature fights against this reality. We are tempted to elevate self, in order that we might perhaps assume a position of authority over life events. From this mindset is birthed a reliving of the past. We believe that we have ultimate control over our decisions and actions rather than seeing God working through life’s events to shape us. Or we obsessively try to manipulate the future by incessantly planning. We presume to know the best future and thus strive to obtain it. Yet God clearly states that his purposes will be accomplished. The result is an internal, ultimately futile fight over control. God, at the end of the day, controls our past, present, and future.
Humanistic control stifles one’s ability to play. Research on controlling personalities affirms their deformative effect on one’s life: “Many authors [in the social and behavioral sciences]point out that the excessive control, as well as the lack of control, or even the illusion of control leads to the impoverishment of the emotional life of the person, deformation of his relations with others, psychological and emotional maladjustment” (Shkurko 2013, 630). In other words, our attempts at control, albeit vain, deplete and damage our emotional health. Emotional depletion impacts our ability to enjoy life.
Imagine some friends are playing a card game. They are enjoying the interaction with one another. The outcome of the game is immaterial, as they are simply delighting in each other’s company around a casual game of hearts. You pull up a seat. Instead of joining the game, you decide to control it. You insist that winning should be the goal. Furthermore, you believe laughing should be kept at a minimum so that players can concentrate on strategy to outwit their opponents. Immediately, the tenor of the game would change. Not only would the enjoyment of the other players be muted but it would also be very difficult for you to match their playful attitude, due to your obsession with controlling the manner and outcome of the game.
Play is the God-given ability and permission to fully enjoy moments in life as God intended, with freedom and pleasure. Controlling life does not produce freedom or pleasure; rather, it leads to impoverishment and deformation of one’s relations with others. Freedom and pleasure arise when we can simply play within the moment. From a theological standpoint, this perspective is grounded in a conviction that we should live life responsibly with wisdom, care, and planning, while fully resting in God’s sovereign authority and providence over time.
Honestly, this is not an easy affirmation. And, most certainly, it is not going to be a common one. Yet, it is necessary to move toward this perspective if we are going to truly be and thus play in the moment.
To read more, pick up a copy of Theology of Play on Amazon, Christianbook, or Bookshop!
This post is adapted from Theology of Play: Learning to Enjoy Life as God Intended by Kevin M. Gushiken. This title was released on June 25, 2024. If you are interested in adopting this book for a college or seminary course, please request a faculty examination copy. We will also consider requests for your blog or media outlets.
God encourages you to experience great joy in following Jesus
God has given humans freedom and permission to play–to fully enjoy life’s moments as he intended, with no ulterior motive. The Christian life without play becomes malformed, and believers can miss aspects of the abundant life Jesus came to give.
In A Theology of Play, Kevin Gushiken builds a case for getting serious about play as a vital element of being a Christian. “Play,” he writes, “is not merely an activity but a way of living.” Gushiken explores play from various biblical and theological lenses:
- How an identity grounded in God’s good creation invites us to play
- The connection between play and the biblical concept of Sabbath
- Why past hurts don’t have to keep us from enjoying the present
- Releasing false guilt and shame to find true freedom to Play
- How to play in the midst of difficulty and pain
Ultimately, knowing and enjoying God brings freedom and pleasure. A Theology of Play helps Christian believers identify barriers to play in their day-to-day lives and offers faithful guidance in recapturing play within the rhythms of life.
